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Stories That Make Us Laugh!

Eubanks' Love To Laugh!

Photo from 1959

One of the great things about these reunions is getting together and telling "STORIES" on each other. Some are just to good to not share. If you have a good one, send it to me and I'll add it to the list. Then when others see the person the story is about at the reunion they'll be able to share in the laugh.

One of the best I've heard was told by Jerry Neal Eubanks recently. As soon as I get more time I'll add it. (So, Jerry Neal, this is your chance to send it to me in 'your own words'. If you don't I'm just going to share it anyway. )


Eddy Eubanks says: You can't have a TRUE TEMPER FIT unless you're 100% Eubanks. There are a lot of folks around that THINK someone they know or are related to has a bad temper. But until you see a Eubanks Temper Fit, you ain't seen nothing.
Back right before Uncle Tommy passed away I ask him if he ever got mad? The reason I ask this was I had never seen him mad. And he had just told this story:

When Diana and Sammye were young and Ronny was still crawling they lived in Russellville over by Ark Tech on Hwy 124. The house had a enclosed garage. Tommy was working on his car in the garage, rebuilding the carburetor. Diana and Sammy were sent to bed by Joyce but instead of going to bed they opened the door to the garage. Diana was standing there swinging back and forth in the door when Tommy looked up and said, "does Joyce know you 2 are out here? Diana says "yes". About this time her foot hits the pan of gas he's using to wash parts. It flips over, gas runs all over the garage floor all the way to Tommy and - YOU GUESSED IT- the hot water heater. The flames lept from the hot water heater to Tommy, putting him on fire. The girls run screaming for Joyce, who was trying to get Ronny to sleep. She gives Ronny to Diana and runs to help Tommy. Diana gives Ronny to Sammye and Diana starts screaming out the front door, "my Daddy's on fire, my daddy's on fire! Sammye puts Ronny on the floor and runs out the door after Diana, leaving the front door open. Ronny then crawls out the front door after them. After Tommy gets the fire out - he's not burn bad - it takes a while for them to get Diana caught and brought back to the house. That's when they discover Ronny is missing. After a quick search they find him out by the highway. At this point Uncle Tommy says - in his slow drawl - "It was my fault, I shouldn't have had the gas close to the hot water heater."
To which I ask - remembering my dad's Eubanks Temper - did you ever get mad like most Eubanks'?
Uncle Tommy Eubanks then told this story:

Seems when he was young he had an old car one time with a bad headlight. He was outside trying to put a new headlight in with Granny in the house. He didn't know she was watching. He said he couldn't get the headlight to go in right and after several trys he had one of them Eubanks Temper Fits. He picked up a hammer and started hitting the car all over. He busted the windshield, the headlights, the tail lights, the hood, the fenders, the trunk, the doors. He hit it so many times he was about to fall out. Just when he couldn't hit it anymore because he was to tired, Granny leaned out the window of the house and said, " I believe I'd hit it one more time if I was you."

He was laughing so hard he was almost crying when he finished that story. So was I.
I've been trying to get Jerry Neal Eubanks to send me this story for 3 years:

If anyone in this family knows my grandfather (Tommy Eubanks) You know that he raised two wonderful and very respectful girls and one pretty good ole boy(Diane, Sammie Lou, and uncle Ronny) Well I think that should get me a couple suck up points huh Dicky. Anyway my aunt Sammie keeps one of the cleanest house's I've ever seen, I mean a Colorado spring feed Coors light isn't cleaner than this woman's house.One afternoon the crew(me, Gary Wayne, Benji and Tammy Lou) were at aunt Sammie's house playing when mom and aunt Sammie decided to I believe go grocery shopping and leave the crew at home.So, most of you that know any of the crew, has already figured out "boy did Diane and Sammie just mess up". It had been raining in Fort Smith for a couple of days and we had a ton of frogs everywhere. We decided to go catch frogs after about the tenth frog and not being able to keep them from getting away Benji comes up with and idea get the trash can and keep them in there. It worked great until there was about fifty frogs. We needed to find a bigger storage place hey Tammy says lets put them in mommas bath tub. Ok folks I'm 40 years old and made allot of mistakes in those forty years but I really believe that this one is one of the top two for agreeing to do this. Yes we drug that trash can straight to aunt Sammie bathroom. Let me tell you at 11 years old the rules for aunt Sammie's bathroom there engraved in my mind like the ten commandments are to a preacher. Lttle boys must lift and replace the lid .(beautiful pink fuzzy thing on toilet seat, with matching rugs and toilet tank cover and don't forget the engraved matching towels and wash clothes) You must never use the towels or wash clothes that hanging. And unless the other restroom is occupied and you can't hold it any longer don't use aunt Sammie's restroom. Serious she had it done up right people and always clean. Anyway here we are four of us and fifty of them we dumped into the tub. We played and we played pretty soon were bored(not many things you can do with four people and fifty frogs in a little bathroom. Now I forget exactly who the bright apple in our bunch was but we all agreed to the stupid thing I'm fixing to tell you about and its a wonder I made it to 12 little lone 40. We decided to take all the frogs out of the tub fill it with cold water, fill the sink with hot and I mean hot water. I'm really not proud of what I about to tell you but oh yes we got two table spoons from the kitchen and we formed a line in that bathroom. First you flip the frog (via table spoon) into the sink (hot Water) putting the frog into shock. The next person grabs it and flips it to the next person who has Sammie's make-up mirror (you know the kind that is round, double sided and spins) Well, the we spin the mirror, drop the frog on the mirror and it hits the ceiling and pooping everywhere, then flipping it very quickly into the tub (cold water) bring them out of shock, now I will tell you this after about thirty minutes of this it don't smell to good at all in that room nor is there a white or pink or clean spot anywhere. I can't tell you what it smells like after thirty one minutes because that's when aunt Sammie walked in and said what in the world have you'll done. All I could say was "come on Gary Wayne we got to go home momma's calling". That was my plan, aunt Sammie didn't see it that way, I'm here to tell you the only whipping I ever got for my aunt Sammie was that day. It didn't hurt any of our rear-ends(sitting here writing this makes me reflect back it should have hurt alot worse) but we all cried that day, me because of hurt pride. I assume the others also but don't know for sure, I want you to know that rest room would have been considered for demolition in 48 states and considered a danger to society in the rest of them, there was frog crap on the walls floor and roof the fan was clogged with it. The towels were ruined and a few frogs flushed down the toilet. If that place is still in use I promise you there is some type of frog poop still in that rest room to this day. Dicky I have to tell you the 100 percent truth that was the most fun I had with my brother and cousins ever except the time me and Benji pushed Gary Wayne out of the top of a barn and broke his foot, then took him into the middle of a bull pasture the next day and took away his crutches. You wouldn't think a person with a broke leg could run that fast. But that's another story.
My brother (Larry Eubanks) loves to tell this story on me. So I guess I'll share it before he tells everyone. (I have a few about him - ask me)

When I was a young boy I was curious about eveything. (Still am) One day while mom and dad were gone, I found a 22 shell. I wanted to know how it worked so I decided to take it apart. Only trouble was I couldn't figure out how to do this. So, I laid it down on the concrete back steps and took a hatchet and hit it to cut it in two. Yeah, that's right. It went off, shot me in the butt. Went in one side of my cheek and came out. Clean shot. I thought I was dead. And I knew I was bleeding. And hurting! I started running around the house screaming. No. I don't know why I was running around the house. Larry ran outside, saw me and drug me into the house. With me kicking and screaming. I don't think he really wanted to "clean" the wound considering where it was. So, he pushed down my pants, then with me still kicking and screaming, pushed me, butt first into the toilet. With one hand holding me down, he used his other hand to flush the toilet until there was no "blood" in the water. Then as all big brothers would do, he then said, "you're ok now". And I was until dad got home and found out what I had done. Then both cheeks of my butt hurt. (Dicky Lee Eubanks)

Okay, your turn!

If you have any information that can be added to this page please send it to
Dick Eubanks.

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